He Can Save Himself
by Half Demon Alchemist
Summary: Roy's gone to far. Cheated too many times. Ed's done. Roy said he changed, and he didn't need Ed anymore. That ended what they had together. But what happens when Roy realizes that he only wants Edward? Can he get Ed back? He's the Flame Alchemist, he can do anything... Right?
1. How To Save A Life

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_**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or How To Save A Life by The Fray**_

**I was recently informed that song lyrics are not allowed to be posted in a fanfiction.**

**I sugges****t listening to How To Save A Life by The Fray before reading this, or after you have finished it. It will make the story easier to understa****nd. Thanks.**_**  
**_

The radio played softly in the background of the colonel's office. Ed immediately recognized the song. It was How To Save A Life by The Fray. It was a new hit in Central.

"Roy..." Ed called out to the man standing before him. "We need to talk." Roy nodded and as the younger blonde started walking in front of him, without a word the colonel followed behind. Silently Ed sat on the black leather sofa in Roy's office.

"Come on, sit down. It's just a talk." The blonde said, but his tone was softer than usual. The dark haired man remand silent, but did as he was told and sat next to Edward, the couch sinking under the extra weight.

Roy smiled. It wasn't a genuine happy smile. It was polite. That was all, it was simply a polite didn't know what Roy thought he was going to say but Ed stared politely back gave a soft smile.

A window. Edward loved the windows in the colonel's office, they were big and you could see far into the distance. They were always clean, Roy made sure of that.

The blonde knew they weren't the most compatible people. But they loved each other. _Loved._ Ed wasn't sure if they both still felt the same.

Ed was beginning to wonder why he came, he didn't know. Why did he come here? Why did he come all they way to Central Headquarters? To see Roy? Why did he come here?

_'Where did I go wrong?' _Ed couldn't figure it out. He had lost a friend, he had lost Roy. Caught up in all the missions for the Philosopher Stone, the bitterness that came with his goal. He lost Roy.

"Roy... I know whats best. For you. For me. For us." Ed spoke without hesitation. '_Its for the best...' _Ed repeated as a mantra in his prodigy mind.

"What's best, Fullmetal? Do you really know whats best?" The tone Roy used was cold. Ed was shocked. They hadn't called each other by their titles for a while now... when they got together, they went by first names. As much as the blonde hated to admit it, he was hurt Roy just reverted back to calling him Fullmetal.

"Yes... Mustang. I know best." Ed could tell that the colonel's wall of defense was crumbling. The emotionless mask Roy always wore was cracking.

"Mustang, you know we don't act the way we used to. You know this isn't... what we thought it would be... I know that you still have one night stands with different women when I'm on missions. I know that..."

The dark haired man seemed shocked. Why did everyone forget that Edward's a prodigy of course he would figure out if his boyfriend was cheating on him.

Roy stayed silent. Ed continued speaking.

"I told you that I knew you weren't ready to give up your precious one night stands or your beloved bachelor status. You said you were more than ready, because you loved me. I wanted it to be true... I've known all along. I told you, you weren't ready."

Roy was still at a loss for words. Had he been that obvious? When Ed came back to Central... Roy always got rid of the evidence in his apartment. Always... how did Ed find out? Who was he kidding... of course Ed knew...

Ed didn't believe in God. Never has, never will. But if he did, he'd be asking that this was all over soon. He just wanted to go home.

They shouldn't have rushed it. They should have stayed friends, gotten to know each other better, before taking the next step. Ed thought that all along. He barely knew anything about Roy, and that always bothered Ed. He thought they should know everything about each other... but the older man insisted that they would be fine. As long as they loved each other.

"Ed, I don't know what you're talking about! I haven't looked at anyone else since we got together! It's just been you... I never slept with any women while your gone..." Roy's voice was growing louder with each word.

'_Lies.' _Both of their minds echoed. They both knew Roy was lying.

"Roy... I'll give you one last choice. You can stop lying, and be with just me and no one else... or you can forget about me and what we shared and continue to lie to me, and yourself." Ed's voice on the other hand, was quiet and almost gentle.

Ed was driving, since he turned seventeen, he's been driving himself everywhere. He switched on the radio, the song from the office was continuing. How To Save A Life... Ed wished he knew how. But for now, he was just driving. As the rain pattered on the windshield. The blonde didn't want to think about what just transpired in his superior's office.

Roy could have done two things, he could admit to everything... or he'll just say he's not the same.

Ed found he was thinking about what Roy said anyway.

_Roy had thought about the offer. He could do option one or two. Ed or no Ed... Roy decided._

_"Fullmetal... I've decided." The dark haired man paused, looked Ed straight into his golden eyes and said "I've decided that... I'm just not the same as I used to be..."_

_Ed looked at his feet. Once again he was wondering why he came._

And that ended what they had together.

Ed couldn't help but think about it. Why did he agree in the first place? He should have known it wouldn't work out. Instead, he risked the friendship they had, and now he lost everything that was between them... Where was the equivalent exchange in that?

He realized it. Where the equivalent exchange was. He lost the romance and friendship he had with Roy, but he had some memories he would never forget.

Ed pulled his car into the driveway of his small apartment. Closing the door behind him he looked at the sky to see it had darken considerably. He'd been driving around for hours. Driving around like that helped him to relax.

Walking to his front door of the apartment he lived in by himself, now that Al lived in Risembool, He unlocked the front door.

Ed pushed open the front door, it was cold inside. Ed walked into the living room and turned the radio on. The song had not yet ended. The blonde lit the fireplace. He recalled how much Roy used to love to show off by snapping to light it.

Staring at the flames, Ed sat in front enjoying the embracing warmth it gave off.

The blonde only now realized how hard it was to look at fire and not think of the Flame alchemist. His mind wouldn't stop wandering to Roy, no matter how many times Ed scolded himself for it.

Edward had one question left... _'Where did I go wrong? When did I become not enough?'_ Ed pondered. He'd been thinking about it for a while. He just couldn't come up with an answer.

Ed might not be able to save the entire world, but he could save a life at a time. And right now, he needed to start saving his own.

It just hurt that Roy wasn't there to save him like he used to be.

But Edward knew he could still save himself.

He knew how to save a life.

_To Be Continued_


	2. Should've Said No

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Should've Said No by Taylor Swift**

**I was recently informed that song lyrics are not allowed to be posted in a fanfiction.**

**I suggest listening to Should've Said No by Taylor Swift before reading this, or after you have finished it. It will make the story easier to understand. Thanks.**

It was strange. Everything was gone, everything. The songs. The missed it. More than he liked to admit. He missed Roy, he missed what the romantic picnics, the strolls in the park, or just the conversations they would have. Edward knew he wasn't there all the time because of missions, but was he not worth waiting for?

Central Headquarters. The last place he wanted to be. It felt wrong, to even look at Ro- Mustang. But the blonde had to be here, for a report with Mustang. And Ed had a few things to say to Roy anyway. Standing in front of Roy, looking him straight in the eyes, it felt wrong.

"Ed are you sure you don't want to get back together? Just give me one chance." Roy practically pleaded.

The blonde in question shook his head no. He couldn't do it yet. As much as he missed Roy, he couldn't do it yet.

"Mustang, I can't. You said yes to her, and probably countless other women." Ed stated.

Roy averted his eyes from Ed's golden gaze.

"Mustang... did you even think twice, before going on dates with those women?"

Roy shook his head negative. He didn't think about it twice.

"Well... You really should have Colonel. You really should have." Ed turned to leave.

Ed turned his head to look at Roy, his automail hand on the doorknob. "One last thing... Was I even there, in the back of your mind?"

Roy looked away guiltily. He didn't even think of Ed while he was fooling around with those women. That hurt the blonde the most.

Before Ed turned away, he spoke softly, almost as if he was talking to himself and not Roy. "You know, I shouldn't be asking myself why." the golden boy turned and was about to step out of the office, when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Ed, can't you forgive me?"

A sad smile tugged on the corners of Ed's mouth. "I don't know... but I know I can't right now..." And with that, the seventeen year old boy jerked out of the colonel's grip and raced out the door.

"Why couldn't he have just said no! I'm never gone for too long anymore... Maybe... he didn't think I was worth the wait..." the sad teen muttered to himself as he ran away from Central Headquarters.

Ed ran to the park, and sat under the tree. The tree Roy and himself would always sit under when they came. Before Ed knew what was happening, translucent tears were cascading down his cheeks.

Next thing he knew, a gloved hand was on his shoulder. "Hey, hey, its okay..." A familiar voice cooed in his ear.

Ed practically jumped up from the ground, tears still sliding down his cheeks. "M-mustang wh-what the h-hell are you d-doing?!" Ed shouted angrily.

"I'm here to get you back." Roy stated as if it was completely obvious.

"C-colonel, don't tell me you honestly expect me to believe, that we could ever be the same after what you did?"

"Edward, the past is the past, I need one chance." the colonel said, almost as if it was an order.

The blondes tears had subsided. "I don't know if I'm willing to risk it." Ed said softly.

Ed didn't know what to do. He missed Roy, he really did. But he was so hurt. And who's to say that it wouldn't happen again, the next time Edward left for his next mission? Roy said it was a moment of weakness, but that doesn't change the fact he said yes.

No. Ed wasn't willing to do that to himself. Not yet. Maybe eventually, but not now.

"Why didn't you say no?" Ed couldn't help it. He wanted to know.

"I-I don't know..." The dark haired man replied. That wasn't what Edward wanted to hear.

"You really should have Roy." The blonde spoke honestly.

"I-I know." Roy spoke those words, but Ed wasn't entirely convinced Roy regretted his actions...

"Roy, did you really, honestly not think about me at all, when you went with cheated on me?"

The man in question once again, averted his gaze. Ed took that as a no. If you truly loved someone, and then cheated on them, they would cross your mind, right?

"So Edward, do you think you'll ever forgive me? Or take me back?"

Ed sighed. He really didn't know what to say... "I don't know.".

Why? Why did it have to be Roy? How could Roy do this to him? It's not like Ed wanted to break up, he really didn't he loved Roy, and still does, but if Roy truly loves him, then he won't give up until he gets Ed back.

Roy turned to leave, seeing as he was getting no where with Ed. But Ed's voice stopped him.

"I can't resist. Before you go, tell me this..."

"Was it worth it? Was she worth this?" Ed's soft spoken question struck Roy. He didn't know. Were those women worth it? Losing the one he actually cares for, just for some meaningless sex?

Roy answered honestly. "No... no, no, no... It wasn't"

Ed walked away. He needed to think. Roy should've said no. They both knew he should've. But why, why didn't Roy think twice, before he just let everything they had together... go?

What did Roy do with those girls? Is wasn't hard to figure out. What about when Ed was in Central? Did Roy cheat on him then too? When Roy was late for one of their dates, was it cause he was at some woman's house?

Why wasn't Ed there? In the back of Roy's mind? Why? He should have been. Roy should have thought about him, even if it was just for a fleeting moment.

Roy kept pleading for forgiveness... but Ed didn't know if he should. He wanted to but... Ed decided. If Roy is determined enough, he can get Ed back. That's how Ed will know that Roy actually cares.

Ed walked around aimlessly on the Central streets. Watching the happy couples holding hands hurt.

Roy and Edward both knew Roy should've said no.

Cause, let's face it, if Roy had said no... He would still have Ed.

_TO BE CONTINUED!_


	3. You Suck At Love

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or You Suck At Love by Simple Plan**

**Enjoy!**

**I was recently informed that song lyrics are not allowed to be posted in a fanfiction.**

**I suggest listening to You Suck At Love by Simple Plan before reading this, or after you have finished it. It will make the story easier to understand. Thanks.**

Ed didn't want to be here. A club, of all places. But when the subordinates asked Ed to come along, he couldn't say no.

The speakers were blaring You Suck At Love by Simple Plan, and Ed couldn't help but sing along.

It reminded him of Roy. Everyone seemed to get the hint, that it was for Roy, they all continued to give him side glances, when the weren't absorbed in listening to Edward's beautiful voice. A golden voice, golden like the rest of him.

Ed had thought Roy was the one. Forever. He really did.

Ed guessed that to Roy, everyone was replaceable. He can hire new subordinates, so he can certainly find a new lover. The blonde didn't know if Roy could ever get past the looks of the women or himself, and look at what really matters, how you feel for a person, or their personality. Ed hoped he could.

They were over, for now. Ed got burned by the Flame alchemist. Very burned. But Roy's still the real loser in this.

The colonel was bad news, known for sleeping with women. Repeatedly.

You can't trust a serial cheater. Once you cheat, the damage is done. And the teen had to face it, Roy was good at hooking up, he was known as Central's womanizer for a reason.

In a way, Ed was an amateur. He had never been in a relationship before Roy. Then Roy stabbed his back. Murderer.

He had known Roy was a womanizer. But Ed had honestly believed Roy loved him. More than the pretty Central girls. Who knows, maybe he does.

Roy was good at what he did. Playing with peoples hearts. His heart.

His friends (and Roy) in the crowd around him seemed at a loss for words. They were all smart enough to connect the dots and figure out that Roy had cheated on Ed. Riza was sending a death glare to her colonel. She didn't like that he hurt Ed.

Roy was just... dumb-struck. He wanted Ed back, but he had no idea that he had hurt the teen so badly. Now he realized just how much of a fool he was.

Heymans was also glaring at the dark haired man, followed by a rather angry Jean. They knew that this would happen. They hadn't wanted it to, but Roy was a history repeater.

Riza, Jean and Heymans continued to glare, while Kain and Vato seemed to connect the dots and sent disapproving looks the colonel's way.

Roy knew he must really suck at love, to lose the one person he cared for like that.

Ed did feel kinda bad for Roy. The colonel wouldn't have anyone to turn to.

It was true... another day, another bed. That's how it was when Ed was away. But... it wasn't all just a game. Not all of it.

Roy came to terms with that it was true... He was the real loser. Burns can heal... but Roy didn't know if he could.

Roy was coming to terms with that too. You can't trust a serial cheater... Even if he managed to get Ed back... would the blonde ever trust him again?

Burning was what Roy was known for. He just wished that he hadn't made the mistake of burning Ed.

Roy was bad news. But trouble had never stopped Ed before.

Trust was one of the most important things in a successful relationship. If they got back together would they have that?

He really did mess this whole thing up. If Roy had just been loyal, they wouldn't be having these problems.

Roy sucked at love. No doubt about it, they both just wished he could get his act together.

_TO BE CONTINUED!_


	4. The Harold Song

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or The Harold Song by Ke$ha**

**I was recently informed that song lyrics are not allowed to be posted in a fanfiction.**

**I suggest listening to The Harold Song by Ke$ha before reading this, or after you have finished it. It will make the story easier to understand. Thanks.**

Ed missed Roy. It was getting harder everyday to wake up, knowing he wouldn't have Roy to be there with him. No good morning kisses, no lunch dates, there was nothing. the blonde missed it. He missed Roy.

It really was killing Ed. It was so hard for him without Roy. Ed has gone so many years without someone to lean on, someone to rely on, someone to love. And now, he finally found that one, special person. And he pushed him away. Now, the teen could only hope that the colonel had seen the errors of his ways, and decided to be loyal, and be with Ed.

He could barely walk down a street without stopping to wonder if the person he just passed was Roy. It never was. Ed also found that he was having dreams about Roy. It was hard. He didn't like being so... needy... for one person. For Roy.

He was a good actor. He could act like nothing was bothering him. Act like he didn't miss the colonel. But, when he was all alone, at night, after turning off the lights in his small apartment he found himself thinking of why Roy would cheat on him in the first place. He was getting next to no sleep. Always thinking. Always of thinking of Roy..

And here the teen prodigy was now, lying in his bed, thinking of Roy. The lights were just turned off, and this is when his mind likes to go to the person he really did not want to think about. But he thought about him anyway.

True love. Was this what this was? The pain he was feeling, was it because he loved Roy? Was it true love? Did Roy feel the same for him? Well if this was true love, it could almost kill him.

"Why Roy, why? Why are you killing me on the inside like this? Thats what it must be. Murder. Roy, you are a murderer." Ed mumbled to himself.

Ed longed for the warmth of and extra body in bed next to him. Roy's body. The Flame Alchemist was always so warm, he would hold Ed and snuggle him into his chest as they slept. Equivalent exchange. What would Ed have to give to not have to be sleeping alone, without Roy.

'Cause at this point, Ed was fairly sure he would give it all.

When Ed went into Central, did Roy enjoy seeing the dark circles under Ed's eyes from lack of sleep? Now that the blonde thought about it, Roy had dark circles himself. But was Roy's loss of sleep from thinking about Ed? Or was it from meaningless sex with some bimbo?

How could Roy do this to him? How could the colonel be that one person who could make him, or break him? And right now... Ed was dying on the inside. His heart was getting murdered. That is what that feeling must be. The feeling he gets whenever he sees Roy... or even thinks about him.

Would the warmth that used lie in bed next to him ever come back? Or would Ed forever be sleeping alone. That isn't what was supposed to happen. That isn't what he wanted. **(1)**

So many memories they had together. And Roy threw it all away, for a couple dozen one night stands. Did those memories they shared mean anything to Roy? Or was it just another part of his game? No, Ed knew it wasn't. The look in Roy's eyes... when they shared memories like that... it wasn't cruel, or forced love. It was genuine happiness, and love. So much love...

Ed didn't believe in God. No alchemist did. But sometimes, when he was with Roy... if he believed in God, Ed would have sworn that the best nights of his life, were all spent with Roy. No... they were the best nights because of Roy.

Did Roy remember that? When they promised each other that it would last forever? Ed wanted it to last forever. Roy said he did too. Did Roy still want that? Did he ever want it in the first place?

It was all in the past, those beautiful memories. But maybe, with just a little bit more time, Roy would see that it was beautiful and that he didn't want to give it up either.

They would get drunk off of each other. The love they shared was like an alcohol. Nothing but each other, 'til the sunrise.

Ed would be lying if he said his heart wasn't in pain. It was in pain. He was in pain. But, Ed would much rather deal with the physical pain, then a heartbreak. Hell, he'd take automail surgery over this emotional pain... The emotional pain would kill him a lot faster than any physical wound.

Murder. Murder, why did Roy murder the love they shared? Did Roy love any of those whores he had sex with? No. He didn't. He said he loved Ed. Hell, maybe he still loves Edward.

Sleeping alone. Ed never knew just how lonely and cold it was. He had always had Roy there... And now he was gone. Yes, Ed would give it all, to not be sleeping alone.

Fading. Fading. Ed's fading. Was Roy enjoying it, watching Ed's heart bleed. Did he get some sort of sick amusement from watching Ed's heart break. No, Roy's not cruel. Roy's not heartless. Maybe, this was hurting Roy too...

Maybe Roy felt like his heart was murdered too. Maybe... in fact, that is what it must be.

"Roy? Are you sleeping alone?" Ed sighed. "Who am I kidding... you never sleep alone, even when we were together... I wish, you were sleeping alone. So you could feel the same heart break I feel now." Ed placed his automail hand on the pillow Roy had always used when he came over to Ed's apartment. "But who knows, maybe you do feel it, and you are sleeping alone... alone... so alone..." And then, the blonde drifted off to sleep. In his bed where he was in fact, alone.

* * *

Roy missed the beautiful times. He missed how they'd be drunk off of nothing. Just each other. Roy missed it.

The pain Roy was feeling... was this true love? He had never really felt this way before, he felt it when he was with Ed, but that was it. The pain was excruciating. The pain of a heart break. This could almost kill him, that he was certain.

That is what this must be.

The colonel felt as if he was a murderer of a sort. Destroying the love and trust he and Ed had together. He murdered it. He already felt like a murderer from the Ishvalan War of Extermination. Now, he could add killing Ed's heart to the list. Oh yeah, and killing his own along with it.

Roy couldn't recall the last time he slept alone. But he was. Now, whenever he slept with someone, innocently or not, it felt wrong. It was wrong. It needed to be Ed, in that woman's place. So here he was, sleeping alone. He would give it all, just to be able to have the short blonde sleeping next to him...

The dark haired man never knew that his life could fade away, just because of a break up. Was Ed watching his heart bleed? No, the blonde wasn't watching Roy's heart bleed. The colonel knew that Ed, was watching his own heart bleed.

Did Edward think he was a murderer too? Probably. That is what this must be. A murder. A murder of love... but maybe, just maybe, Roy could revive it...

And Roy would continue to sleep alone. Even though he had expensive, thick sheets on his bed, it still felt cold without a certain blonde teen to warm him up. But until Ed's sleeping in his rightful place next to the colonel, Roy would sleep alone, and suffer the coldness and lonely feeling. Because, he knew, that Ed was suffering that same feeling. Roy would wait. He would wait till the day the blonde was finally back, sleeping in his bed with him. It would be warm. And it wouldn't be lonely... but until that happens... Roy would be sleeping alone.

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

**(1) For those of you super fans (like me) you might have noticed that the line I used "That isn't what was supposed to happen. That isn't what he wanted." Was taken from an episode, where eleven year old Edward is about to bond Alphonse's soul to the armor. Ed says "This isn't what we wanted! This wasn't what was supposed to happen! Dammit, Alphonse what have I done?"**

**Hope you liked the switch I made to show you how Roy felt about the whole thing too... :D just tell me what you thought of it in a review!**

**Review please! For the love of Roy!**

_**OH! ++++++IMPORTANT!++++++ If there is a certain song that you would like me to make into a chapter, just type the song name and artist/band name into a review or PM and I will look it up, and make it into a chapter! And dedicate the chapter to you! **_


	5. Six Degrees Of Separation

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Six Degrees Of Separation by The Script**

******Enjoy!**

**I was recently informed that song lyrics are not allowed to be posted in a fanfiction.**

**I suggest listening to Six Degrees Of Separation by The Script before reading this, or after you have finished it. It will make the story easier to understand. Thanks.**

Roy's read plenty of books on the subject. But still, like everyone else he didn't know the best way.

It wouldn't go away. His thoughts. No matter how much Roy distracted himself, the topic would always come back to his mind. He meditated, tried to relax. Hell, no matter what he did, his thoughts would never leave him alone.

Desperate. Roy hated the word. But he knew thats what he was. Not desperate for sex, just for Edward. Only Edward. The colonel was having a hard time dealing with the separation.

Roy found himself going to a bar straight after work, and coming home dead drunk. It helped ease the pain of not having Edward. But as drunk as he was, he kept his promise, and never came home with any woman, and always left the bar alone.

His subordinates were getting worried. They knew that Roy's smile, or well, smirk in his case was fake. And when they asked how he was doing, the colonel would say he's better now than ever, and that his life was okay. Well, they all knew it wasn't.

Roy's doing so many things out of desperation. All because he's trying to deal with the separation.

A broken heart wasn't the worst of the pains Roy was feeling. What killed him was the second part.

Edward was his world. And now Ed was gone. Roy's world was gone. Split down the middle.

Roy thought he would be fine... Roy thought could fix himself. But, now, Roy knew he couldn't fix himself.

There had been a few times, each more heart wrenching then the last, where Roy would see Edward walking down the street with Winry. He knew Winry had feelings for Ed, but did Fullmetal have those feelings as well?

Roy had to admit to himself. He fucked up badly. Not even a little. A lot. Actually, the colonel knew the whole break-up was his fault. Oh God, did he ever fuck things up.

No one could help Roy. None of his friends, which all happened to be his subordinates, were on Ed's side. He couldn't blame them. He'd be on Edward's side too. He was the person who hurt Ed. Yes, he was also hurt, but Roy knew that the blondes pain went far beyond his own.

Yes, Roy had no help right now, it was every man for himself.

Frankly, right now, the Flame Alchemist found that he was telling everyone of his issues. Whether it was the cashier at the store, or the mailman. That's how Roy knew he had it bad. Usually, you couldn't pay him to tell you what was on his mind.

Tarot cards? Gems and stones? Could that possibly heal Roy? No, he knew it wouldn't. He didn't believe in that type of shit. But right now, he found himself just about ready to drop to his knees and beg to God to help him get Ed back.

He's doing things out of desperation. Roy was suffering the separation.

Broken, shattered heart. Roy never thought they day would come when his bachelors heart was broken. But when it came to the second part, he died on the inside.

Yes, Roy's world was destroyed, the moment Edward walked away it split down the middle.

Roy thought he could fix himself. He tried to fix himself. It didn't work.

It was that female mechanic again. Walking with Ed. Roy watched as she threw her arm around his shoulder.

The colonel's pride went down the drain as Roy admitted to himself that he was the one who fucked everything up, and not Ed. But he knew that Fullmetal didn't do anything wrong. Roy was the one who fucked it up.

Roy couldn't start over with someone else. For one thing, he didn't want to, he only wanted to start again, with Ed. But even if he wanted to find someone else, he couldn't. Not without finding closure.

Would Roy hesitate? No. He's take Edward back in a heartbeat. No hesitation what-so-ever.

The dark haired man knew he didn't want to find closure with Edward. That meant, if Ed found closure with him, that he could start over with someone else. Roy did not want that at all.

He knew he wouldn't hesitate to take Ed back. But Roy couldn't help but wonder, what about Ed? Would Ed hesitate before taking him back? Would Ed take him back at all?

At first, Roy thought that the worst was his broken heart. Then, he realized that pain is absolutely nothing compared to the second part.

His world had most definitely split down the middle. And the only person who could make Roy's world whole again was Edward Elric.

At first, Roy thought that he had successfully fixed himself. But the next time he saw Ed after that, he realized that the only person who could fix him was Edward Elric.

Winry Rockbell, was still walking with Edward. Roy saw, that Ed's mouth was moving, and he looked so sad and fore-lorn. Roy watched as Winry adopted a sympathetic expression and patted Ed's back consolingly. Just what was Ed saying? Not knowing killed Roy on the inside.

Maybe this separation was harder for Roy then he realized, he was admitting to himself that he was the person who was wrong this time. He never did that before. Even when he was the guilty party, he would never admit to himself that he was wrong. But this time, he would admit, that he was the one who fucked everything up.

While Roy was suffering with the separation, it was every man for himself. He had no help right now.

The colonel refused to admit that he needed help. He didn't need any help. It was every man for himself.

He would be just fine getting Ed back by himself, with no help what-so-ever. You know what they say... Every man for himself.

_TO BE CONTINUED_


	6. When You're Gone

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne**

**Enjoy! Note: I don't like this chapter XP So, sorry if it sucks to you too.**

**I was recently informed that song lyrics are not allowed to be posted in a fanfiction. **

**I suggest listening to When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne before reading this, or after you have finished it. It will make the story easier to understand. Thanks.**

Edward had always needed time to himself. But he never thought that he would need Roy there when he cried. Days were feeling like years without Roy there with him, laughing and smiling, teasing and joking. Loving and being loved.

The bed were Roy and Edward would sleep on together when the colonel came to Edward's dorm, it was made up on Roy's side.

When Roy walks away, he counts the steps Roy takes.

Does Roy know how much Edward needs him right now? Did Roy know how much pain he was going through without him?

When Roy's gone, the pieces of Edward's heart are missing him. His heart was breaking without him. When Roy's gone, the face Edward came to love is missing too. Edward yearned to see Roy's face, eyes full of love and adoration like they always had been. When Roy's gone, the words Edward needed to hear, to get him through the day and make it okay. It was harder to go on without Roy.

But did Roy feel the same way?

Edward missed Roy.

The blonde has never felt this way before. Everything thing he does, reminds him of the raven haired man. When he was cooking, it reminded him of how Roy would always burn the food when he tried, and how they would have little food fights.

And how now, he was only making food for one.

When he was cleaning, it reminded him of how Roy and himself would always play a game when cleaning, and get distracting from the task of cleaning the apartment Edward lived in.

And how now, Edward lived alone.

And the military uniform of Roy's that the colonel left here, was lying on the floor. And it smelt just like him. Edward couldn't help but stare at it, remembering the man he loves and how good he looked when he was wearing it.

Edward loves the things Roy does. Flame alchemy took more work than anyone would have guessed, and it would take a lot of work to master it like Roy had. How Roy would excessively clean the windows when there was paperwork to do.

When Roy walks away, he counts the steps that he takes. Does Roy see how much Edward needs him right now?

Does Roy need him too?

When Roy's gone, the pieces of Edward's heart are missing him. His heart was shattering into a million pieces and only Roy could put it back together. When Roy's gone, the face Edward came to love is missing too. Edward loved Roy's pale face, and how the obsidian eyes and ebony hair would make such a lovely contrast. When Roy's gone, the words Edward needed to hear, to get him through the day and make it okay. When Edward was sad, or something had gone wrong, Roy had always been there to whisper words of encouragement to help him.

Edward missed Roy.

They were made for each other. Out here forever. Edward knows they are. They should have been together forever, they should have still been together now... But Roy had made such stupid mistakes...

All Edward ever wanted was for Roy to know, that everything the blonde does he gives his heart and soul. He always gave his all. No matter what the occasion. Even in domestic tasks like cooking or cleaning. He always tried to cook the food to perfection and clean 'till the place shined.

Now he cooked and cleaned alone.

Edward could barely breathe. He needed to feel Roy there with him. He craved the feeling of Roy's glove hand in his, the muscular arms that wrapped around his petite frame, the soft lips against his.

Since Roy was gone, the pieces of Edward's heart are missing him. Only Roy could mend his broken heart. When Roy's gone, the face Edward came to love is missing too. The smirk Roy would give him... He desired to see it, that small smile Roy would give him. When Roy's gone, the words Edward needed to hear, to get him through the day and make it okay. Edward needed Roy to say those words to him.

Edward missed Roy.

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

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	7. What You Do To Me

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or What You Do To Me by We The Kings**

**Enjoy!**

**I was recently informed that song lyrics are not allowed to be posted in a fanfiction.**

**I suggest listening to What You Do To Me by We The Kings before reading this, or after you have finished it. It will make the story easier to understand. Thanks.**

"Roy, I need to talk to you." Edward said immediately as he barged through the colonels office door.

Edward didn't wait for a reply before he spilled all his thoughts to the man he loved. "I want to be the picture on your wall, the only picture. I don't want anyone else's picture there but mine. I want to chase you around until we fall, like we used to do in the park. I want to be the one you write about. Wether it's in a journal of yours or a report, I don't care, I just want it to be about me. I want to be the one who never let's you down. The one you can trust more than Hawkeye. The one you can tell anything too."

Roy was at a loss for words, so Edward continued. "But... Right now, I feel like I'm losing control... I'm losing control... HEY! My head is spinning because of you, you bastard! My head is spinning because of you! You've no clue what you do..."

Obsidian eyes stared wide at the fiery blonde, not believing his ears. "Look Roy." Edward continued. "You're a storm, so let it rain. You've got eyes like a hurricane..." Edward pointed accusingly at the colonel "HEY! You've no clue what you do to me! It's driving me insane! All my emotions are messed up... You've no clue what you do to me.

Edward himself could not believe he was saying all of this to the raven haired man. But he figured he had already gone this far, why not continue?

"I can make you laugh until you cry. Can any of those bimbos make you laugh that hard? I can tell your mood just by your eyes. Can any of those random girls do that... do they even stare into your eyes long enough for that? I can sleep with your head on my cheek, and I never complain when you take all the blankets. Do any of those whores do that? I can be the one you never want to leave. I can promise you that."

The blonde sighed, he doubted this would get him anywhere with the older man, but he would try anyway. "Right now, I really feel like I am losing control. Of everything, my body, my emotions and what I am saying to you. I am losing control. HEY! My head is spinning because of you, and you have no clue what you do to me!"

Edward continued his voice echoing in the office. "You're the storm, so let it rain. You've got eyes like a hurricane... HEY! You've no clue... What you are doing to me, to my life. And we'll both fall, we'll lose it all... We'll have each other... And we won't make the same mistakes... 'Cause we really are better together... And we are smarter than before this all happened, we have both been through the world... And we both know that there is more, when you find the one that you were looking for... And I want to be that one for you."

"Hey...Hey... Roy, my head is spinning because of you. And you have no clue what you do to me! My head is spinning because of you. You're a storm, let it rain, you've got eyes like a hurricane. HEY! You have no clue what you do to me, or how you effect my life or my emotions..."

Edward looked straight into Roy's eyes. "You have no clue what you do to me."

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

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	8. You And Only You

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or You And Only You by We The Kings**

**I was recently informed that song lyrics are not allowed to be posted in a fanfiction.**

**I suggest listening to You And Only You by We The Kings before reading this, or after you have finished it. It will make the story easier to understand. Thanks.**

Roy had not said a thing the entire time of Edward's speech, but what he was about to say would make up for everything he had ever said, or done. It would be perfect.

"Fullmetal, I need you to hear me out." Roy said pointing to the black leather couch, suggesting Edward should sit on it. When Edward complied, Roy started his own speech.

"Edward, every single day that I wake I just can't wait to see your face. Are you looking back at me?"

The blonde's cheeks tinted pink and he nodded. Roy continued. "And every moment that goes by... I think of you and I am always alright... Did you think of me last night?"

Roy had his own blush painting his pale cheeks. "You, Edward, and only you. You make my heart feel like you are pulling every string. You, Edward, and only you. You make me drop onto my knees and give this ring."

The colonel kneeled in front of the couch which his subordinate was sitting on and reached into his pocket, pulling out a black velvet box in his gloved hand. Golden eyes widened with surprise. "My everything..." Roy whispered softly.

"Edward, once upon a time, there was over a million stars up high in the sky, but now, you're the only light I see. Only you. And I don't care which way we go, Edward, teach me everything you know. About alchemy, about yourself. Everything. Everything a love should be, Edward, just believe in you and me. You and only you, Edward."

Roy gave a short laugh. "Only you can make my cold heart feel like you're pulling every string. You and only you, Edward. You made me drop onto my knees and give this ring." The raven haired man opened the velvet box's lid, exposing a golden ring with a soft, shining red ruby in the middle. Golden like Edward and fiery like his temper. "My everything." Roy whispered again.

The colonel continued talking, Edward was hanging onto every word. "Edward, don't be alone, you don't need to be when you have me. 'Cause when you're far away, wether it's on a mission or a stroll in the park... An apartment full of memories... So say, that you will always come back home. For me. For good. Forever."

Roy removed the ring from the box and slipped it upon Edward's left ring finger. "You and only you, Edward, make my cruel heart feel like you're pulling every string. You and only you, Edward, made me drop onto my knees and give this ring."

"You are my everything." Roy finished.

Tears were pricking the blonde's golden eyes. Never had he expected this, for Roy to propose to him. Never. But this was happening. It was really, truly happening.

"So Edward, tell me, will you be my everything?"

The younger man gave a small smile. "You bastard, did you really even need to ask?"

Edward leaned in, about to capture the older mans lips. "Of course I will." The blonde whispered before sealing the gap, and placing his lips upon Roy's.

Roy had already been Edward's everything.

And now, he was Roy's.

_TO BE CONTINUED (EPILOGUE!)_

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	9. He Saved Himself

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**Oh my! This really is the end! Thanks for reading! Enjoy the epilogue!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!**

**Epilogue:**

_He Saved Himself_

Three days Edward and Roy had been married, and no one had a problem with a now eighteen year old Edward Elric, subordinate and thirty two year old Roy Mustang, superior officer, both male, getting married. In fact, many people were happy for them.

They newly-weds were taking the dishes out from cardboard boxes and putting them in cabinets. Since they were married, they decided to get a brand new large apartment together, Edward didn't want a house, because it reminded him too much of the house he had burned down in Risembool.

Speaking of Risembool, Alphonse lived there with his girlfriend, Winry, and both had been exceedingly happy for the two.

Edward was happy. For the first time in his life, he was truly happy. He was with the man he loved, more than anything, and they were very happy together, they hadn't fought once since that day at the office, where Roy proposed.

The blonde still smiled at the memory of that day.

"Love, where do the glasses go?" Roy asked. The colonel had taken to calling Edward 'love' since the proposal.

"In the third cabinet, to the right."

Roy nodded and placed a few glasses on the shelf.

"Hey, love, can't we take a break?" Pleaded Roy, the ever lazy man.

Edward sighed in defeat, seems like paperwork wasn't the only thing the raven haired man wanted to avoid.

"Sure, sure. What should we do, Roy?"

The older man did not answer that question, and instead walked up from behind his Edward, and wrapped his arms around the petite waist, pulling Edward to his body, Edward's back against Roy's muscular chest.

Edward turned around, still in Roy's arms, and placed a kiss on his colonel's lips. Roy did not hesitate to deepen the kiss, immediately darting his tongue through the younger man's open lips. The pink appendages battled for dominance, the older man's tongue winning the miniature war.

Yes, Edward could save himself. He _had_ saved himself.

Roy's arms tightened around his small waist.

But... It was nice that he had someone to save him too.

_END._

**Hope you liked it! **

**I didn't like it T^T so sorry, I tried my best. **

**Dear Payton-chan: Look! I used 'love'! I told you~**


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